Candy Corn Butterfingers

Every fall I stock up on candy corn, for some insanely bizarre reason. Why so bizarre? Because I don't eat it! I don't even like it much, truth be told. Why buy it then? I have no idea. 

I get this odd compulsion when I see the bags stacked on grocery store shelves... Buy me, the candy corn whispers, You know you want to.

Does anyone else listen to those voices in their heads?! No? Just me? How about we forget I said anything, ok?

ANYWAY.

The Hubs...  now he can plow through a bag of candy corn in a couple hours. After, he's sick and moaning and complaining, and I rue the day I ever tossed those bags of candy into my grocery cart. And every year, I swear I'm not going to buy it again.

And then I do.

Something must be done to stop the cycle!

So this year, after giving into the compulsion, I yet again found myself with candy corn in my pantry. This time I took precautions against the Hubs and his compulsion to consume all things sugar. No matter the cost, I wanted to avoid the bellyache I knew he'd contract. So I buried the candy in the far recesses of my pantry, next to some rice cakes, ha! No way he would ever look there.

I'd long heard of a mythical recipe, where candy corn could be morphed into tasty Butterfingers. I heart Butterfingers, seriously. I knew I could use the candy corn for good instead of evil, simply by testing this recipe.

So that's exactly what I did.

And it worked!

Why it works, I can't tell you. I'm guessing it has something to do with the chemical composition of the dreaded candy corn, but who cares? These are delicious, and they taste just like the real thing. Best part? There are only 4 ingredients! Naturally, I forgot to include one of them in the picture.

You need a 16 ounce bag of candy corn, and equal amount of peanut butter (16 oz), 3 cups of semi-sweet chocolate chips, and 1 tablespoon of shortening.

If you think the ingredient list is easy, wait until you realize how simple these are to make!

I put my candy corn in a pot over medium heat, foolishly thinking this was a great way to melt the candy.

DON'T BE LIKE ME! 

You see, candy corn is sticky. And it will stick to your pot. Instead of repeating my foolish mistakes, learn from them. Melt your candy corn in a microwave-safe bowl instead. I suggest nuking in 30 second intervals, stirring after each, until the candy is melted.

Once I realized the candy corn would quickly ruin my pot, I threw the peanut butter right in. This step saved me and my pot. So, these pictures are from what I did, but let me repeat...

DON'T BE LIKE ME! 

Once your microwaved candy corn is all gooey and melty, then stir in your peanut butter. It will resemble the bottom photo at that point.

Next? Line a pan with wax paper. I used an 8x8 pan, but I think my candy bars were a bit on the thick side. A 9x13 pan might be a tad too thin. Use your own judgement here, and go with what works for you.

Spread the candy corn/peanut butter mix into your lined pan, like so:

Set the pan in your fridge for about 30 minutes. You don't want the candy to be rock solid, because then it will crack when you slice it. Shoot for a firm texture.

While the candy is in the fridge, do two things. First, line a cookie sheet with wax paper and keep it handy. Second, melt down your chocolate chips. Add them, along with your shortening, to a double boiler (if you don't have a double boiler, you can create one by placing a bowl atop a barely simmering pot of water). Stir continuously until the chocolate is smooth.

When the candy is chilled, pull your pan out of the fridge and slice into bars. Or whatever shape you prefer. But for the sake of argument, I'm going to use the word 'bars' from here on out.

Piece by piece, dip your bars into the melted chocolate. You can use a candy dipper set, or you can be like me and just use a fork. Shake off any excess chocolate, then set the bars onto your wax paper-lined cookie sheet. Repeat until all your bars are covered in chocolate.

Place the bars back into your refrigerator to help the chocolate harden. This shouldn't take long, maybe 20 or 30 minutes.

And then eat! And realize that I am right... these taste just like real Butterfingers!

But try not too eat too many at once, ok? The Hubs can verify: too much sugar all at once will send you high, and then send you crashing back down.

So my friends, what have we learned today? I think the lesson is that my candy corn purchasing compulsion isn't an all bad thing! No, you don't agree? That's ok, we can agree to disagree on this.

However, when you find you've given in to the same compulsion, and don't know what to do with all that leftover candy corn, remember this recipe. It's an excellent way to take care of that problem for you.

Happy cooking!

Thanks for reading, everyone! 

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The Standard Form:

Candy Corn Butterfingers

Ingredients:

16 ounces candy corn

16 ounces creamy peanut butter

3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 tablespoon shortening (like Crisco)

Directions:

Melt your candy corn in a microwave safe bowl at 30 second intervals. Stir every 30 seconds until the candy corn is melted and smooth. While it’s still warm, stir in the peanut butter until combined.

Spread the candy corn/peanut butter mixture into a baking pan lined with wax paper. If using an 8x8 pan, the final candy will be thicker, a 9x13 pan and the candy will be much thinner.

Chill candy in the refrigerator about 30 minutes.

Once chilled, remove the candy from the fridge and cut into the desired size and shape. Bars are popular.

Add your chocolate chips to the top of a double-boiler along with the shortening. Melt over low heat until, stirring constantly, until smooth.

Line a cookie sheet with wax paper. Dip your candy bars into the chocolate, shake off the excess, then lay onto the wax paper. Repeat with all the bars. Place in fridge until chocolate hardens and cools.

Eat!  

The Great Debate: Chili, with or without beans?

I'm originally from the East Coast, and I have always thought of chili as having beans in it. However, since moving to Texas, I've discovered the population here considers chili with beans almost a sacrilege. In the few years we've lived here, I've never once made chili. There are many reasons for the chili drought in my household...

Reason #1: Texans are weird about their chili, and I'm a little scared a lynch mob may show up on my doorstep if I even whisper the word 'beans'. 

Reason #2: For years, my husband has been convinced that his chili recipe is far superior to anything I can make. I didn't see it necessary to prove him wrong. Until now. 

Reason #3: No one I know around here actually eats chili. Translation: I have no one to pawn off the leftovers to. 

After a huge internal struggle, I finally broke down. The begging from the Hubs was downright pathetic. "Please honey, please make chili for me, I could never do it as well as you!" (Ok, so this never has and never will happen, but all girls have dreams!)

My super-secret chili

It was a difficult decision, but in the end... I put beans in my chili. (I hear gasps of horror from the great state of Texas, but please keep reading!) Actually, I used two different types of beans, no less. I've got my fingers crossed that my ultra-secret ingredient will turn the Texas tide in my favor, if any of them brave this recipe. 

So, let's get this show on the road! I think you'll find this recipe has just the right balance of flavor and spice. At least, I hope so! Here is most of what you'll need: 

Notice there are no kidney beans in this picture... I like to be different. 

The spices

This time, I may have actually gotten all the ingredients in the photos (and pigs fly, right?). Except for the SUPER SECRET one that's coming later... 

I start this recipe by chopping all my vegetables first. Trust me, it's better to have all your ingredients lined up and ready to go, otherwise you look like a madman running around to get things done while other things burn on your stove. Then you accidentally chop off part of a finger. Not good. 

For Christmas, my wonderful sisters sent me a new kitchen toy... this is the best way to make me oohhh and aahhh over a gift. I'm so transparent. 

Isn't it awesome?! Not only is the cutting board removable and reversible, but I adore the dishes on the side for my ingredients. Chop, chop, chop, then slide right into the dish. Repeat as necessary. 

Cool, right? What you have here is a large onion, a red pepper, and one jalapeno pepper. All of them need a quick dice, making sure you removed the seeds from your peppers. Also, you want to shred 2 carrots. OR, you could buy that pre-shredded stuff in the bag if you're in a rush. 

You'll also need about 4 cloves of minced garlic. I mince the garlic fresh, but it's pretty sticky and can be a major annoyance. It's a-ok to use the pre-minced stuff you find in the produce section at grocery stores. If I was smart, I would use that all the time. 

From here, pull out your favorite chili pot. Melt 4 tablespoons of butter in it over medium-high heat. Pretty easy so far, right? When the butter is all melted, throw in the veggies you just chopped (In case you forgot already, that would be the onion, red pepper, jalapeno pepper, and carrots. Um, not the garlic, not yet).  Stir them around for a bit, maybe 5 minutes or so. You want the veggies to soften, maybe even start to brown the tiniest bit. But not too much! 

Onion, red pepper, jalapeno pepper, and carrots

Add the garlic to the pot, and stir for 30 seconds to 1 minute. I know that sounds fast! But you don't want to burn the garlic. Burnt garlic = disgusting. A fabulous aroma will be coming from the pot, so take a big whiff and then add your meat to the pot. 

I used 1.5 pounds of lean ground beef, and 1 pound of Italian sausage. You could probably use any kind of beef that you want, mixing and matching to your taste. I think it would be fun to try some boneless chuck, cut up into cubes... maybe some other time. Whatever you choose, be sure the meat is lean. Too much grease in the chili will make for some painful moments later. 

Brown your meat, being careful to leave it a little chunky. If your taste runs different, feel free to chop it small. I like chili a bit meatier. Drain off as much of the fat as you can, but you don't have to go crazy trying to get out every last drop. 

Now, it's time to get serious. Seriously spicy, that is. 

Return your pot to the heat and stir in the following combination: 1 - 2 tablespoons chili powder, 1 teaspoon paprika, 1 - 2 teaspoons kosher salt, 1 teaspoon ground cumin, 1 teaspoon ground coriander, 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper, 1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper, and a dash of Worcestershire sauce. On top of that, I add ONE finely minced chipotle pepper in adobo sauce. These bad boys add some serious heat to your chili, so be careful! If you don't like things too spicy, you can always leave it out.

Side note: When I say "one", I mean one pepper, not one can. Someone I know made that mistake, and it wasn't pretty! 

Stir everything around so your meat is coated with all the yummy spices, about 2 minutes. Next, you want to add a 15 ounce can of tomato sauce and a 6 ounce can of tomato paste. Keep stirring it all around, letting those spices distribute. I had a little leftover tomato sauce in my fridge as well, about 1/3 of a cup, so I threw that in too. Soups, chili, and stews are a great way to clean out your fridge. 

At this point, you only have to ask yourself one question... what is your favorite kind of beer? Immediately open your refrigerator, take one out, and pour about 6 ounces of it into your chili. Then drink the rest as you cook. It's a win-win situation. 

Along with the beer, add in a cup of chicken stock (maybe a bit more), a can (14.5 oz) of diced tomatoes and a can (15 oz) of pinto beans, with the juice. Since we've previously established that I'm neurotic, it won't surprise you that I didn't add any kidney beans. Instead, I drained and rinsed a 15 oz. can of black beans and added those to my pot. I'm such a rebel. 

Now all you have to do is wait... reduce your heat to low, cover the pot of chili, and let it simmer for 1 hour, stirring occasionally. The chili might be a bit thin at this point, but don't let that bother you. It won't stay that way for long.  

I know what you're thinking now. Where is this magical, secret ingredient that I spoke about? Don't worry, it's the very next step. The secret ingredient is.... DRUMROLL please....